Tuesday, November 30, 2004

starry-eyed surprise!

went to siup's place in the afternoon to learn how to make stars from plastic straws.

hands and straws provided by siups. and here we are after finishing our star-making tutorial.

my throat hurt so much today. hope it improves soon.

i reserve my right to hate you.

Whatever poison is in this bottle
Will leave me broken sore and stiff
But it's the genie at the bottom whom I'm sucking at
He owes me one last wish
So here's a present to let you know I still exist
I hope the next boy that you kiss has something
Terribly contagious on his lips

But I got a plan (I got a plan)
Drink for forty days and forty nights
A sip for every second-hand tick
And for every time you fed me the line
"You mean so much to me..."
I'm without you

[jude law and a semester abroad/ brand new]

don't you think i make everything so easy for you, everytime? perhaps it's time to thank me, no?

read this song off minzie's blog. it's so friggin cool!!! i'm listening to it on loop.

Monday, November 29, 2004

my new love(s).

i have found a new love, and she's very sexy.

besides that, i have also acquired a winnie the pooh watch, in red!

on a gadget high now. woohoo!

dame edna mode.

haha. isn't she adorable? dame edna mode from the incredibles. cutest movie of the year!

went down to kino with ku in the evening to look at travel literature, photography and children's books. i realise i have a whole list of people to buy birthday/ christmas presents for. it was fun taking 162 home from town. i love long bus rides, they're good for sleeping or thinking. taking the mrt just distracts me because i'm always in some uncomfortable position facing some strangers.

more on the class party and stayover. i really enjoyed playing halo 3 on jon's x-box, though i think i was the one dying most of the time. shauna played this super cool ninja game which looked like some action movie. we also watched dodgeball (dumbest movie of the year!) and the sixth sense in his theatre. which reminds me, that's the sixth time i've watched that movie. i can actually remember when the ghosts are coming out and what they're going to say, etc. in the morning, we played more x-box. some tennis game where i kept losing again. bahs.

going to miss them after prom...

Sunday, November 28, 2004

from the very start, open up your heart.

here i am blogging from jon's house while the others play bridge, watch soccer and play games on the x-box. :)

the last class party until people leave for national service, vacations, their home countries and so on. sigh.

well there's still prom.

it's late and i'm rambling aimlessly. do excuse me. going to watch the bourne supremacy now. lovely night, this is!

Friday, November 26, 2004

then you handed me a towel, and all i see is you.

Julianne: I'm pond scum. Well, lower actually. I'm like the fungus that feeds on pond scum.

Michael: Lower. The pus that infects the mucus that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum. On the other hand, thank you for loving me that much, that way. It's pretty flattering.

Julianne: Except it makes me fungus.

awwww my best friend's wedding is such a nice feel-good movie. just like bridget jones, which the class girls watched together yesterday. this reminds me that i watch mainly chick flicks or animated movies nowadays. as compared to my secondary school days when i would drag my (quite willing) mom to see angela's ashes or nice and accomodating edith to watch chocolat.

back from chalet at sentosa today. i've always wanted to live in a real colonial-era bungalow so i guess the chalet fulfilled at least part of my erm dream. laugh. sentosa is not wonderful when it rains though, the possibility of doing anything remotely interesting is eliminated.

i came home and watched twister! i love that movie to bits. perhaps it is childish but i do want to see a real tornado up close one day. i'm sure the pure exhilaration of the sight would be enough to keep me in a good mood for a long time. okaaay, just another of my many wishes and dreams...

the bean prepares to bum. (finally!) well maybe just for a week before i start looking for work.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

birthday letters.

But if in your thought you must measure time into seasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons, and let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing.

[kahlil gibran]

the joy of being alive is finding beauty in the mudane, celebration in one's sorrow and above all, love in one's heart.

i thank you for all the times...

today was delightful. :)

Friday, November 19, 2004

the graduation post continued.

as promised...

life with 03s75, a little something new everyday.

  • the first three months of 2003.
    although it does seem faraway now, i seem to recall having the most fun i'd had in a long time. :) getting caught at NJC! JTS at marina! playing games at the suntec roof garden! running for council with quan! so many things...

  • PW with ching, clement and junjie.
    we were doing a project on the indiscriminate burning of paper offerings at grass patches. bahs we actually caught people in the act, but didn't try interviewing them for fear of getting beaten up. so we took photos of them from like 20 metres away. wahaha. i had some really nice times sitting with my group at the esplanade library, then shopping with ching at suntec city mall.

  • meeting my class a day after my birthday last year.
    and receiving a nice skirt with red leaves from them. afterwards, we sat by the river talking and playing cards. would love to do it again.

  • chinese lessons with yvonne and wens.
    although i still hate chinese with a vengeance, they were great individuals to go for lessons with. we shared the common goal of getting out of every lesson as quickly as possible.

  • falling for shaunie's scam about mari going to america at the beginning of 2004.
    and feeling very cheated after that because i had been so gullible. sheesh!

  • running to mari's house in june this year.
    because i was down and needed a friend. i subsequently fell asleep on her sofa because i was bored of reading dc circuits. after i awoke, jac, ching, wens, madd, jiahui and javin arrived, turning it into a mini class gathering.

  • studying with shaunie at thomson plaza during the june hols.
    which helped me get through june without losing my sanity. we also managed to sample almost all the food at thomson.

  • class outings, of which some i missed because of council.
    woohoo! my classmates are the best dates ever.

  • watching ching on gotcha!
    she always manages to get herself into situations like that because she's so kind-hearted. :)

  • attending lessons with mr chow.
    my favourite teacher. mr chow is the funkiest chow chow we know. giggle.

  • attending lessons, everyday.
    whilst managing to be the most entertaining cum exasperating S7 class. our teachers will attest to that.

  • the ridiculous class conversations we used to have.
    foretelling the future! of hadi as the boss of a kopitiam! of weidi as a popstar!

  • having the most number of absentees for class photo.
    five, a new record, as shaunie pointed out. which, of course, is the average number of absentees on any given day.

  • bonding when problems arise, or tragedy strikes.
    like at the end of the school last year, and recently too. love will light our path. i love you guys. thank you so much.
  • Thursday, November 18, 2004

    the graduation post.

    two years of one's life isn't perhaps such a long time. as school ends, i know that i'm never really leaving hwachong because i take so much of it with me. have been wanting to do this for some time... read on. :)


    all my love to...

  • ku and weifang.
    for sharing the whole 2unity-to-3hope-to-4hope-in-sngs-to-hwachong-and-then-to-council experience with me. you guys have been indispensable and i would have seriously doubted my ability to survive without you.

  • mari, madd, jiahui, shaunie and siups.
    for being my closest pals in hwachong, spending all these lazy, crazy, hazy days with me and showing me too what it feels like to have a group of people i can count on to be there, to give my enemies the evil eye and just to make me laugh.

  • the sngs connection: vi, xuamy, yun, michelle, kelly and many others.
    it's been beautiful having so many old friends around. you guys helped to make hwachong home.

  • dust, pea, waiye, zhui, comm, ningky, choon, heryl.
    more than just council-mates, my dearest friends and confidantes. thanks for being my strength and support in council, in life and forever after. (this i sincerely hope.)

  • the thirtieth students' council.
    people from whom i take with me the sweetest memories. we have shared so, so much.

  • 03s75.
    awww i can't begin to tell you how immensely lucky i feel to have been given the chance to spend two years with some of the best people i'll ever meet. i draw inspiration from you everyday.

    some of my favourite memories of my hwachong days.

    the first section will of course be about council.

  • the first day of being an elect and the subsequent eleco camp.
    i remember feeling almost asphyxiated while crawling through some tunnels. haha i'm sure the councillors remember that day very well. i also remember crying during camp because i was so frightened. erm too bad i won't say why.

  • teachers' day 2003.
    the first and last event for which i served on the committee. yifong and i were the programme i/cs. it was the most interesting working experience ever. making our own video, coordinating the performance groups, designing the programme booklets, designing our own large cake, choosing songs for the teachers' day commemorative cd, blowing balloons with these large helium tanks...

  • MAF 2003.
    how can any councillor forget MAF? the crowd of four thousand, the lights, the songs, the dances, the spirit and the warmth. oh and the countless rehearsals of hoisting and "de-hoisting" and marcus's shouting at us to shut-up during preparation. haha.

  • open house 2003.
    the first time we performanced scandalous! personally i felt our goodie bags were very nice. my darling comm secretary minyee did a fantastic job. oh and pengkiat designed a gorgeous banner.

  • christmas 2003 at mik's.
    the present buying was really fun. i also really like mik's dog.

  • orientation 1 2004.
    okay my memories of orientation are surprisingly a blur. why? a few points. it was a whirlwind week in which we hardly got any sleep. i couldn't speak after the second day because of all the cheering and screaming we did. but i do remember feeling very proud to be a senior and a councillor. the campfire cumulated all these feelings in me although i was so exhausted. it was beautiful.

  • elections 2004.
    haha. now i will always remember sitting in a pitch dark toilet cubicle at 3am in the morning with jeanette and having to keep deathly quiet for 4 whole hours, in which i consumed a few bottles of green tea and a few packets of crisps. with a guy in the next cubicle too. don't ask me what we were doing.

  • dance sessions.
    hey i love dancing, okay? wahaha.

  • the publishing of aspiro news october 2003, aspiro news april 2004 and the students' handbook 2004.
    my pride! my babies!

  • exco, pubco meetings.
    i actually did enjoy most of them. it's nice to throw ideas about for dissection eh i meant discussion.

  • playing push-ball against the chinese high council.
    and watching all these little boys getting crushed underneath our formidable big red ball. i remember laughing till my insides hurt.

    okay i think i'll continue this another day. there's still the section on my class to write about. :)
  • Wednesday, November 17, 2004

    about how fast a year can go, i wonder where it went.

    I memorized what you said to me
    So surprised, it was hell to be
    So frustrated with the way we where
    Not a single word could make it work
    Now look at us today, we blew it away

    [new year/ sugababes]

    the school's counselling unit was terribly insensitive today.

    giving us slips of papers with not-so-subtle offers of help?

    seriously... a nice gesture, but bad timing.

    Tuesday, November 16, 2004

    never an absolution.

    O Lord be my light, and be my salvation.

    today was odd. different. suddenly it seemed like however the paper turned out would be of no consequence whatsoever.

    we should always treasure those around us, because we never know when anyone's going to leave.

    perhaps now is the right time to tell those you love that you do. if you're going to wait, that chance may slip by.

    take care, and take heart... it's good to be alive.

    Monday, November 15, 2004

    life doesn't hold tryouts.

    i finally understood what the critics meant by calling center stage 'fame in tutus.' watched a bit of this on channel five just now.

    the difference between a mediocre dancer and a real dancer is that the real dancer truly feels the rhythm and lets herself get lost in the music, whereas the mediocre dancer would just be moving to the beat.

    i remember being the happiest girl in the world the day celene and i were both selected for SYF 2001. we had gone through three days of non-stop auditions and worrying. and then came the endless hours of stretching and rehearsing for the actual day. afterwards, we performed at the bird park, which was probably the strangest and smelliest place ever to perform. and the time we spent bitching and gossiping in between dance prac! haha.

    you will never really live, until you dance.

    Sunday, November 14, 2004

    小白船 (i.e. little white boat.)





    i played this song on the glockenspiel in primary school for SYF. i'm sure most of you remember it... quite pretty, this one. someone play it for me! i'll be very grateful.

    this afternoon while looking through the op amp notes, realising that it was all crap and i was better off making my own summaries, i got an sms that made me feel very touched. thank you to the silly boy who admits to things he never did and makes me laugh all the time. thank you too to the dusty girl who's been more understanding than anyone else has with me. -waves. :)

    Saturday, November 13, 2004

    schrodinger's cat.

    let the cat out of the bag!

    perhaps we are all like schrodinger's cat, simultaneously alive and dead, not knowing exactly where we stand.

    today was a dandy day. i had a nice quiet afternoon doing various statistics questions. then came messages from dear madd! i called jiahui thrice to discuss stats questions. laugh. and mari has adopted a new dog, which is really good. am immensely glad.

    i think my friends must be the most wondrously rational people in the world. thank you all for the much-needed stability. as shauna would put it... loff!

    Friday, November 12, 2004

    but you turn right over to the t.v. page.

    There is freedom within
    There is freedom without
    Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
    There's a battle ahead
    Many battles are lost
    But you'll never see the end of the road
    While you're traveling with me

    Hey now, hey now
    Don't dream it's over
    Hey now, hey now
    When the world comes in
    They come, they come
    To build a wall between us
    We know they won't win

    [don't dream it's over/ crowded house]

    Thursday, November 11, 2004

    never walk alone again.

    i finally said what had been on the tip of my tongue for so long, then i realised i was starting to remind myself of someone, someone who caused me pain well above that which my threshold could bear. someone who wrote in my book of days pages of empty promises. someone who ironically taught me the importance of independence and self-reliance. someone whose face i couldn't quite remember.

    until i closed my eyes. and all my thoughts faded into oblivion, like the sands of the past that had sifted through my fingers and left me cold.

    a handy guide.

    since my birthday is approaching, this is my blog and i can post absolutely anything i want to... here's a list of things i like versus things i dislike. haha, don't call me ridiculous.

    things i like very much.
  • anything red or its variants... maroon, purple, violet, etc. no pink.
  • books on traveling in tibet, nepal, bhutan, etc.
  • poetry by the following poets whose collections i do not own: w. h. auden, dylan thomas, ted hughes.
  • photography by yanns arthus bertrand.
  • characters from the following cartoons/ animated movies: winnie the pooh, my little pony, care bears, porky pig, tintin, fern gully, the land before time.
  • beautiful children's books.
  • nice globes.
  • jazz and bossa nova cds.
  • white roses.
  • black puppies.
  • gorillas, chimpanzees and manatees.
  • grand pianos.
  • the tiffany altas watch...

    and many more but on to things that i dislike.

    things i dislike.
  • anything blue.
  • books on traveling in america.
  • poetry by the following poets whose collections i will never care to own because they bore me: anne sexton, jack kerouac, walt whitman.
  • characters from the following cartoons/ animated movies: barney, smurf, charlie brown.
  • red roses.
  • white puppies.

    okay i think i'll stop presently.

    this entry is really shameless. i might just take it off when i'm feeling a little more sane. :)
  • Wednesday, November 10, 2004

    popular mechanics.

    hmmm i haven't posted for almost a week. i expect you know i have been occupied with saturating my head with facts and formulas, just like the rest of the j2 population. oh well since the physics exam is approaching, here's the lyrics of a song entitled (suitably, i might add) "popular mechanics for lovers".

    I heard he wrote you a song
    But so what, some guy wrote sixty-nine
    And one just ain't enough

    And there's no sense in trying
    I know cos I've been
    Trying all the time to find
    Something that would make you mine
    But all I ever find my love
    Are clichés that don't rhyme

    Popular mechanics for broken hearts could help me now


    awfully cute, wouldn't you agree?

    one of my most treasured memories is of a place i visited when i was a child. i can't recall the exact location, though i believe it's in indonesia or the philippines. i remember running down a slope with the greenest grass, and then stopping in front of a vast lake. my parents and i then took a tour of the lake and the surroundings in a boat. subsequently, we adjourned to the little cottage on top of the hill for tea. it all seems so clear, because since then, i have never felt so happy and free. i believe i will find that place again, one day.

    strange have been my dreams of late. i wasn't aware there were so many people swimming about in the recesses of my memories and thoughts. nights of lucid dreaming often ruin perfectly good sleep, leaving me drained and confused. and you, i miss you so, so much... it's comforting that i will see you soon.


    Friday, November 05, 2004

    you and me chasing paper, getting nowhere.

    Two of us riding nowhere
    Spending someone's hard earned pay
    You and me Sunday driving
    Not arriving on our way back home
    We're on our way back home
    We're on our way home
    We're going home

    Two of us sending postcards
    Writing letters on my wall
    You and me burning matches
    Lifting latches on our way back home
    We're on our way back home
    We're on our way home
    We're going home

    [two of us/ aimee mann & michael penn]

    i love the beatles to bits. this is another fantastic cover from the i am sam soundtrack, which is incidentally a very worthwile movie to watch too.

    why do people visit this blog? are they interested, or are they just bored? why do i bother with its upkeep? is this just a place for me to gush over pretty lyrics and wax lyrical about my life because i have nothing better to do? is blogging just a medium for me to remind people i'm alive? do you all not think i'm slightly exhibitionistic for putting my life on show this way? or do you read everything objectively and conclude i'm not how i seem?

    the rain pours every single afternoon, as though signifying the collective mood-- gray, and drab.

    convince me this is all going to change.

    Thursday, November 04, 2004

    limitless, undying love, which shines around me like a million suns.

    i must say seth (adam brody) cuts a fine figure in whatever he's wearing. and it always happens to be something interesting. ooh marissa (mischa barton) looks delectable here. and i don't fancy ryan (benjamin mckenzie) but this is so sexy. i'm so happy i didn't forget to watch the OC again today. though the relationships are getting a little twisted. everyone's sleeping with everyone else's mom or dad or ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend or something. haha.

    Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
    They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe.
    Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind,
    Possessing and caressing me.

    [rufus wainwright]

    this is so melancholy, so beautiful. not a bad remake of the beatles' song.

    GP was largely okay. i'm hoping to do better than usual.


    Wednesday, November 03, 2004

    "I believe God wants me to be President."

    election results.

    okaaay. now i cannot fathom how anyone in the right frame of mind would vote for someone who once declared with a straight face, "i believe God wants me to be president." bush evidently thinks he's the next Messiah. surely, the americans must be a misguided lot.

    well, that's that. now it's back to GP.

    we've been betrayed.

    You were there for summer dreaming
    And you gave me what I need
    And I hope you find your freedom
    For eternity

    [robbie williams]

    jamie yeo played my dedication - this song - on say it with music earlier this evening. but i forgot to listen in after smsing cos i was listening to power98. and yes it has happened before many times before.

    i remember when i first met you. the first thing that struck me was how unique you were. how different. you piqued my interest. and i never would have imagined how important and significant you would eventually become to me. but i realised how much had changed when you sat down opposite me in the canteen that day. the initial wonder i felt had now become disgust.

    to you, our friendship had always been an investment. perhaps once you started to lose, it was time to pull out.

    it's probably mutual that i'm glad i don't know you anymore.

    Monday, November 01, 2004

    just get on the good foot.

    There ain't nothing to it
    If you wanna get down then we can do it, do it
    There ain't nothing to it
    Get out your seat
    Why, you ain't glued to it
    Be easy and watch that tone
    Keep stepping with your new suede shoes on
    Boys and girls lets all sing along
    Now everybody just get on the good foot

    [justin timberlake feat. timberland]

    trust justin timberlake to come up with something that's toe-tappingly catchy and with a beat that just won't get out of my head. i miss dancing the s7 fac dance. like i love you! it all came to me while i was listening to steph's mp3 player today. haha. it's been a long time.

    awwww. adorable stress relief for all ages!