Monday, May 23, 2005

where you are.

Oh chariot, your golden waves are walking down upon this face. Oh chariot, I'm singing out loud. To guide me, give me your strength...

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to whom it may concern:

no one ever said we were going to be together forever. lunch today made me realise how precious the simple moments of enjoying each other's company were.

we are finally growing up, making big decisions, signing away our lives... some are leaving, some are not. i must confess i really loved going to school with you guys. there are so many memories, all of which i keep close to heart. but those days have since come to an end, and we are starting new lives apart from one another.

a new phase of life beckons new friends, new ideals and new goals. and these are necessary, for what is life without variation and exciting things to look forward to? i just pray we can keep in contact no matter what the future spells.

may this be true.

all my love, bean.

what's eating gilbert grissom?

there is one other reason why i'm addicted to CSI apart from it's engaging plots and nifty detective work...

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his name is gil grissom. and dammit he just has to be a fictional character! haha. i adore intelligent men.


Saturday, May 21, 2005

a minute with you is better.

Who stole the weekend? Was it you again?
You made all the pages of my life read
As I drown in the wake of her perfect smile
And I try to believe all her feelings
And I feel so alive I could fall through the floor

A minute with you is better than a year with myself
I'm in it with you and I don't want anyone else

another quiet saturday night, doing the things i do best-- reading and watching tv. i guess you could call me a tv addict, considering the number of episodes of CSI i have in my computer... but at least i don't get neck aches from just watching tv like mari. :)

this reminds me of something jan wrote about me recently. something which is probably more accurate than any personality test :

She also spends a lot of time at home, watching serials and movies (like sex and the city, desperate housewives) and reading books. She's also pretty lonely even though she surrounds herself with many people.

she really knows me best, even though i don't watch sex and the city haha.

i was deliriously happy about making it, but somehow that became dampened by the knowledge of friends who would have made great doctors but didn't make it. perhaps there will be other options.

meeting the councillors tomorrow for lunch! hernghuei managed to get a whole bunch of people to watch star wars together, but i think i'll pass on that. am just not much of a fan, and i want to collect my air tickets for the beijing trip! will be off to china on tuesday night.

Friday, May 20, 2005

god does not play dice.

pure bliss!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

what's the story, morning glory?

All your dreams are made
When you're chained to the mirror like a razor blade
Today's the day that all the world will see
Another sunny afternoon
Walking to the sound of your favorite tune
Tomorrow never knows what it doesn't know too soon
Need a little time to wake up
Need a little time to wake up wake up
Need a little time to wake up
Need a little time to rest your mind
You know you should so I guess you might as well

What's the story, morning glory?

pray tell me, what will it be?

madd just reminded me of how much i loved art lessons back in sec.2. we actually had a real artist for a teacher, so art was always enjoyable. i flipped through my old sketchbooks and look what i found...

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i used to be very preoccupied with trying to draw natural-looking trees, clouds, mountains and so on. and i used to think the cello was the sexiest instrument in the world. i still think so, actually. as you can see, i used to draw badly, and still do!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

i'd sing you a morning, golden and new.

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If I had words to make a day for you
I'd sing you a morning, golden and new
I would make this day last for all time
Give you a night dipped in moonshine

i love babe! just watched it again on HBO. it's probably one of the most entertaining family movies ever. oh and the farmer sings the song above to babe when he's sick. i managed to get the version sung by the three mice. very cute!

and to celebrate the return of my newly-repaired camera, here's a shot of my newly-highlighted hair. i think it looks rather coppery.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

every day a little change.

it seems that the combination of the following is putting me in one of my stupid moods again.

  • a lack of fresh air. the air-con has been on for too long.
  • being too lazy to walk downstairs to get a drink of water, thus resulting in extreme thirst. very stupid, yea?
  • having no new episode of CSI or ER to watch.
  • the absence of good books to retire to. i need to get lost in a good novel soon.
  • the feeling of a great spare tyre growing around my waistline.
  • being worried, excited and apprehensive all at once about the outcome of my application.
  • having absolutely nothing to do tomorrow since i've already quit work. farewell to indochine!

    yes, i need to get a life.

    i feel i've been more honest on my blog these few days than i've ever been before. not to say that i've been lying all this while, just that i have never given the full picture. blogs, after all, never really do that.

    my parents are my favourite people in the world. before the release of the A level results, they told me they would celebrate even if i got only one A. when it came to uni applications, they told me to apply for what i wanted. they would have supported me even if i had wanted to do archaeology with its sheer impracticality in the singaporean context. on the day of my NUS interview, my mother cooked me a scrumptious lunch, gave me a hug and told me to do my best. even though there are times when i feel like i'm their parent instead of the other way around... they really made all my choices in life much easier. i'm really thankful for their presence in my life.

    listening to wu yue tian's yong bao late at night always makes me sad.

    this has turned out to be a very disjointed blog entry. haha. i shall not bother to improve the structure. just some fuzzy late night thoughts.
  • Saturday, May 14, 2005

    this little light of mine...

    ... i'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

    i had such a nice time today. met up with ku in the afternoon to pay the balance for our peking trip. so it's confirmed, we'll be leaving on the 24th and returning on 1st june. can't wait to savour authentic beijing cuisine! woohoo!

    as with all our saturdays out together, there was a very healthy amount of walking. we walked all the way from chinatown to funan centre because we couldn't find a nice air-conditioned place to settle down for lunch. haha.

    this evening was supposed to be the first outing in two months where all five of us (madd, mari, tee, shaunie and i) would be present. in the end, i met only shaunie and tee after all. we had what was the most delightful dinner complete with the most important ingredient : xiao long baos. from now on, everyone should boycott the disgustingly crowded crystal jades and try the food at imperial treasures nan bei restaurant. it is neither overcrowded nor overpriced. and the xiao long baos are simply heavenly. you can find it on the fifth floor of takashimaya, near breeks.

    life's little treasures are made of these... good friends, good food, and nice rainy weather when i'm warm and safe indoors.

    Friday, May 13, 2005

    of interest.

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    this was in the straits times yesterday. so may 20 is the day! i'll be praying. all the best to everyone who applied!

    Wednesday, May 11, 2005


    thoughts have been swarming my head recently. contrary to how stupidly i tend to blog at times, i am not all that airheaded.

    i guess i've realised how much i've been banking on the admission to NUS medicine. it is probably the best school i've ever be able to go to with regards to an education in medicine. not making it to NUS would mean having to dig up my various 'plan b's, none of which are that appealing. it scares me that my future now hangs in a balance, one that may be teetering precariously either way. i will admit it matters to me alot, but i always make the best of my situations. if i don't make it, plan b will just be the bitter pill i have to swallow.

    something else i've seen is that i am emotionally incapable of sustaining a friendship or relationship with someone who needs me very much. at the risk of sounding like an egocentric cynic, i will say that it only stems from the fact that i don't need anyone that much at this point of time. the things important in my life have long been established-- a best friend whose mutual respect and support have been indispensable, the love and camaraderie shared with some very cherished classmates and the friendship of many others. looking for emotional fufilment in tangible rewards has ceased to become important to me. i like to think that i'm independent, that i can look after myself, that my emotional neediness is a thing of the past.

    but i wouldn't know. i have said this before-- i don't write my own book of days. for now, i shall just try to be the eternal optimist and keep my dreams alive.

    Monday, May 09, 2005

    we're all okay.

    today, the day of my NUS medicine interview! i think it went largely okay, and suprisingly short. it was supposed to last for one hour, but it was over in half an hour. the first panel even asked me the type of books i like, leading me to warble enthusiastically about books on tibet and my passion for visiting tibet. oh well, i shall not overanalyse... everything is in the hands of the almighty. may june bring good tidings. :)

    Sunday, May 08, 2005

    maybe i'm amazed.

    all psyched up!

    Friday, May 06, 2005

    keeping the faith.

    Over the mountains and the sea
    Your river runs with love for me
    And I will open up my heart
    And let the Healer set me free
    I'm happy to be in the truth
    And I will daily lift my hands
    For I will always sing of when
    Your love came down

    I could sing of Your love forever

    Thursday, May 05, 2005

    pixelated me.

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    here i am as my south park alter ego. make your own here!

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    and as little miss bean too. compliments of aaron. :)

    Sunday, May 01, 2005

    we are thick as thieves!

    yet another enjoyable class dinner at nydc, holland village.

    photo op I: four in a row - madd, di, jac and i.

    photo op II: ching, jia, madd.

    photo op III: diane and jac, two MGS girls.

    photo op IV: the bummmms.

    and here are our guys looking as though squeezing at the back of a bus is the most natural thing in the world. featuring junjie with one of his many facial expressions.

    i had a nice time, as always... a big thank you to madd for the great happy shots! my own camera is spoilt right now. and i don't have good photoediting software. maybe some kind soul will lend me adobe photoshop? :)

    the odd chimera.

    There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.

    -- Anais Nin

    also, something interesting to read.