Monday, October 31, 2005

the solid rock!

geneva, switzerland july 2005

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

'tis well with my soul, indeed. what a week to look forward to and be excited about! three-day week, outings with 3stan, possible buffet lunch with yo-shua, mok's housewarming on saturday...

and i hope that it is well with yours too, whatever your location. :)

how happy-fying it is, as hon would say!

Sunday, October 30, 2005

a friend is, as it were, a second self.





oh, my heart. :)

And I'm waking empty but seldom sleeping
And the words repeat, breathing histories
Into stories untold but I unfold

Saturday, October 29, 2005

3stans make me smile.

correction, i love the 3stan anatomy group! we went to ian tan's house today after anatomy prac, still exuding subtle wisps of formalin. watched some CSI, enjoyed a delicious dinner and then forced itty bitty details out of each other. fun! such a diverse blend of people, but ooh such a good mix. :)

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from left- suriya, moses, liwei, kenneth, em and rou an at dinner.

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suriya, moore-ses and liwei. funny faces!

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watching ian play the piano.

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some of the girls. clockwise from bottom- me, mingjun, em and honlyn.

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we went to swensen's! ian, hon and apple crumble.

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on our way out of holland village, rou an, alvin and i were intercepted by noisy football fans carrying the FA cup to harry's bar! erm, that's glenn ong.

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i will admit i don't watch soccer, but that sure looks precious! anyway we decided to follow them for a while.

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haha. rou an trying free drinks outside the new eskibar.

today was a good day. thank god it's friday, and thank god for the nice friends i have in medicine. :)

Thursday, October 27, 2005

friends and lovers.

today ranked pretty high on the interesting scale. :)

i finally got to watch corpse bride with rou an! we disappeared during the long break to golden village at tiong bahru plaza. tim burton is a genius, surely. only he could make morbid so whimsical and so romantic.

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With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.
Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine.
With this candle, I will light your way into darkness.
With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

we returned to NUH in the afternoon for this human patient simulation (HPS) thingamajig. moses tan actually killed someone by administering epinephrine! okay not really. it was just a dummy. still, watching the electrical events of the heart in real time was quite amazing. there is so much to learn! and the thing about medicine, i've realised, is that we expand our vocabulary everyday. anaphylactic shock, anyone?

i like the "3s tan" anatomy group. :) this week has been good too, without biochemistry breathing down my back ubiquitously.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

john mayer, yum.

I'll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

We share the sadness
The split screen sadness

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

friction burns.

ooh. i officially know to wash, wax and shine a car now. amazing, the things i'm learning everyday! and i know i really looked like the cleaning auntie when i came into LT29 with a pail this morning. :) well!

tis not yet midnight, but i am so fatigued from the past few days of fundraising, which have been more like serious physical training!

i should sleep, but strange things are keeping me up...

why do you say these hurtful words to each other?

why make it so difficult, so twisted.

walk me down your broken line, all you have to do is cry.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

i find it magical.

I find it to be magical
I feel like I'm lovin' you in 1963
Flowers in my hair
Little bitty hearts upon my cheek
Baby you'll be on my mind
Till I kiss you next time

uh-oh i think i've messed up my biological clock. slept at 9pm and woke up at 2am feeling rather groggy and disoriented. today (yesterday?) was spent karang guni-ing with the yunnan expedition folks! my muscles don't actually ache, they feel like they've gone to a better place. poo. and the morning will bring yet another day of hard work! i won't even start complaining that i have no time to bum.

(i have no time to bum.)

that being said, i went on the bukit panjang LRT for the first time today. very interesting, though probably not very useful. it was like poof! and there i was in another country, squeezing in peking's crowded undergrounds or looking out lazily from zurich's trams.

i'm needing a break badly. there are so many important things i have yet to do, like watch corpse bride! sheesh.

Friday, October 21, 2005

what it is to feel.

“To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close..."

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

living but strangely.

I believe in the sand beneath my toes
The beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling
I believe in the faith that grows
And the four right chords can make me cry
When I'm with you I feel like I could die
And that would be all right, all right

oh well i stole that title from someone's msn nick because i think it kind of describes my life right now. i'm sorry that i haven't really been around, anywhere. just so many things going on right now and so many things to do. the best i can do is to not let the stress get to me, i guess. wouldn't want to turn into the energizer bunny on steroids! i love being a green, vacuous bean. :)

i shall smile bravely. and, i miss you.

truth.

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Kahlil Gibran, from The Prophet.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

tgif!

I must be dreaming or we're on to something
I must be dreaming for I don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming or pinch me into waking
So undeniably yours, as long as I'm losing it so completely

nothing, absolutely nothing not to love about medical school fridays! fridays, ever so precious and restful.

and i always work things out, somehow. when the skies parted and little rays peeked out through the clouds, i knew in my heart that i owe everything to a higher power. i stopped to enjoy that intimate, quiet moment amidst the hullabaloo, and i found myself smiling.

so special, and so perfect.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

no poetry between us.

what i really wanted to say was that

i'm sorry. sorry i'm always so preoccupied with myself, sorry i'm always me, me, me! and sorry i always fall prey to circumstance.

i'm sorry, and i miss you.

i don't know.

:(

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

give us faith so we'll be safe.

I pray you'll be our eyes, and watch us where we go
And help us to be wise in times when we don't know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

yet another day in the life of a struggling medical student. today, three of my nice anatomy groupmates and i made a startling discovery. "this is my social life, having lunch at the NUH staff canteen." yours truly leads a boring life!

now you know why i haven't been blogging that much. the workload just keeps increasing, and i'm so, so tired. sigh. i have to keep the faith, and try to stay afloat. just keep swimming!

i met my mentor today! he's very amiable and likable... and he even said we could have a small birthday celebration for lynette (my fellow mentee) and me in november. look, his clinic has a website!

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight to see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are

this is so sweet. :)

tonight, i shall watch some CSI. i will not abandon my favourite tv show, yet!

Monday, October 10, 2005

只为那爱我愿.

愿我能把华初之光点燃
愿黄城之爱于心中滋长
愿友谊能把你心温暖
愿我有完成心愿的力量

没有瀑布与岩石的阻挡
溪水就没有悦耳的歌唱
不愿途中无波浪 无挑战
愈经挫折 生命愈灿烂

只为那爱我愿与你同行万里路
只为那爱我愿与你携手 向前迈步
短暂相聚多急促
既然碰上了又岂能虚度

只为那爱我愿与你同行万里路
只为那爱我愿与你携手 向前迈步
黄城两载多短促
既然爱上了又为何不付出
黄城两载多短促
既然爱上了又为何不付出

Saturday, October 08, 2005

a many-splendored thing.

please note: this is actually vi's question, but i modified it to make it more difficult.

if you only had ten days left to live, would you rather...

a. have one day as the happiest day of your life and the rest as sad days.

b. have ten peaceful days.

(the question was originally 'a hundred days' but i felt that made everyone more inclined to choose b. giving up ninety-nine days for one happy day probably doesn't seem worth it!)

what would you choose? please tag your response or something! i want to know.

--
being with vi, jingyi and hernghuei today was just so, so wonderful! sitting on the steps of the hwa chong field bathed in the moon's gentle glow and talking about anything and everything... now this, just being with you guys is truly my emotional food. i love you. :)

--
wednesday, 28th september 2005

diane, michelle, agnes and zhuanghui leave for the UK.

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truth is, i was rather numb for the whole week. but my tears really flowed freely this day. you know i will miss you, so much.

--
wednesday, 5th october 2005

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xizhen leaves for germany. my girl, how could we not love you? take care, and take heart.

--
and i am so lucky everyday, just to have your friendship. that is all i need. :)

Monday, October 03, 2005

the powerbook.

Love has got complicated, tied up with promises, bruised with plans, dogged with an ending that nobody wants - when all love is, is what it always is - that you look at me and want me and I don't turn away. If I want to say no, I will, but for the right reasons. If I want to say yes, I will, but for the right reasons. Leave the consequences. Leave the finale. Leave the grand statements. This simplicity of feeling should not be taxed.
Jeanette Winterson, from The PowerBook.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

i'll follow you into the dark.

i know i haven't really been writing properly here.

too little thoughts, or too many? i wonder.

and with a little bit of investigation this morning, i've discovered the identity of someone whom i don't know personally but reads this blog regularly! an associate!

so silly.

my first action potential (AP) of the week was generated by dear marcus and shaunie who popped by at 1am yesterday! rushed out of the house to meet them in my pajamas, so excited i almost went barefoot.

and i had a fantastic time today with my best hwachong girlfriends, first at guthrie house and later at coronation plaza. :) bean loves you all, so much!

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the 'no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
I'll follow you into the dark


very pretty song from rouan. death cab rocks my socks.

anatomy is making me cranky, as always. i promise to start blogging more intelligently soon!