Monday, July 30, 2007

dry.

tonight, i feel all choked up.

everything seems to come at once.

work, busy-ness, being alone.

a little night music.


Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer,
Losing my timing this late
In my career?
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe next year.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

away.

This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

sometimes i think that i'm only too young and too small. and that i'm not ready for these decisions, and this pain.

heartburn.

if god made everything exactly the way we wanted it, would we still cherish the beautiful things the same way?

would we still know and trust in love, and never let it go?

Thursday, July 26, 2007

midweek.

a late night, peace and quiet, the promise of a day that starts late, the promise of talking to you, the promise of...

you.

rhinitis, cough, lethargy, irritability, people who judge, much work to be done, another busy day...

ch-ch-changes.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

a grayish, yellow-green hue.

in medicine, things tend to be rather abstract.
  • what exactly does a patient who is sallow (eg in uraemia due to chronic renal failure) look like?

    a quick search on google for images reveals...


    this is a sallow moth.

  • what do fasciculations look like?

    hmmm. can't find anything but histopathological slides.

  • what does a succussion splash sound/ feel like?

    should be memorable when i hear it.

  • how does one learn so much in just eight weeks?

    sigh. stressed.

  • --

    a good and productive call last friday, following the nice folks (house officer and seniors) in ward 48. did my first catheterisation! i'm comfortably settled into life at SGH already... just need to work harder and keep myself going.

    --


    my silly friend wupo is back! photo from andy oei's birthday party on saturday.

    happy 21st birthday andy! really glad that we're still in touch and that our council ties are still going strong. may you be exceedingly blessed as you enter adulthood.

    --

    and... three more weeks! :)

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    Thursday, July 19, 2007

    on work.


    And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge,

    And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,

    And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,

    And all work is empty save when there is love;

    And when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself, and to one another, and to God.

    photo shows heterochromia, from wikipedia.org.

    --

    update at 11.00pm

    happy, happy, happiest birthday to mr joel lim! thanks for everything. :) here's wishing you joy and fulfilment in the years to come! many happy returns of the day!

    Monday, July 16, 2007

    roman holiday.


    "I have to leave you now. I'm going to that corner there and turn. You must stay in the car and drive away. Promise not to watch me go beyond the corner. Just drive away and leave me as I leave you."
    "All right."
    "I don't know how to say goodbye. I can't think of any words."
    "Don't try."

    Labels:

    Sunday, July 15, 2007

    ohhh.

    of all the stupid things to do on a sunday night.

    afrocentric.


    some beautifully styled photographs of supermodel liya kebede in african-inspired designer wear from the nytimes style magazine.

    --

    yay four weeks!

    Tuesday, July 10, 2007

    from sand and foam by kahlil gibran.

    Seven times have I despised my soul:
    The first time when I saw her being meek that she might attain height.
    The second time when I saw her limping before the crippled.
    The third time when she was given to choose between the hard and the easy, and she chose the easy.
    The fourth time when she committed a wrong, and comforted herself that others also commit wrong.
    The fifth time when she forbore for weakness, and attributed her patience to strength.
    The sixth time when she despised the ugliness of a face, and knew not that it was one of her own masks.
    And the seventh time when she sang a song of praise, and deemed it a virtue.

    --

    Half of what I say is meaningless, but I say it so that the other half may reach you.

    --

    The reality of the other person is not in what he reveals to you, but in what he cannot reveal to you.
    Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.

    --

    thank you waiye for the very special and meaningful book. hope you're all settled in nicely in ozzieland! :)

    Labels:

    Sunday, July 08, 2007

    crazy for this girl.


    What was I thinking when the world didn't end
    Why didn't I know, I know now

    i love, love, love this song from 2000. used to sing it all the time, and dream of silly things. :) thanks em!

    --

    and a big happy birthday to our dear iantankaizhi! :) may you have all that is bright and beautiful as you enter adulthood. and may you always have the blessings of friendship and love... and great food to eat. thanks for the very lovely and yummy dinner!

    --

    five weeks still feels like a considerable amount of time to wait. i missssss you to bits.

    Thursday, July 05, 2007

    blah. very. blah.

    aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

    this was supposed to be a good day in a good week, even though i woke up feeling so tired. i had found a nice patient to write a substantial, lengthy case write-up on. i've been typing away for the past two hours about his presenting complaint, history of presenting complaint, past medical history, systemic review, current medications, family history and social history. was about to go on to physical examination, differentials, etc etc yadda.

    now i realise i don't know where my phone is.

    gosh. i really hope i left it in rose's car, or today will turn out to be the worst day of the week so far.

    --

    update at 10.40 pm

    ps the drama mama in me feels rather ashamed now that dear rose has found my phone in her car.

    this is overall a very silly post.

    a good day after all.

    i heart you rose!

    Tuesday, July 03, 2007

    dancing feet.


    the answer to getting through a long day - the high i get when i'm doing something and going somewhere. apart from that... pretty shoes, and warm, cherished friends.

    And let your best be for your friend.
    If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
    For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
    Seek him always with hours to live.
    For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
    -- Kahlil Gibran

    photo from the sartorialist.

    Sunday, July 01, 2007

    be happy we're in love.


    reading through old smses, that line struck me... it made me stop and think, and smile for the warmth in my heart. despite my generally not-very-positive mood this week.

    he's coming back in about 6 weeks. time should pass a little faster... when he's back it'll be the week of our medicine posting test though. aye. challenges up ahead.

    p.s. the photo has perhaps no relation to the post. it just shows me doing something i like- feeding on beans.